tears and laughter

looking back at the past... it's just all about tears and laughter... u'll never know how much tears i had dropped... and wat's actually behind the laughter...

i just felt so diff.. and i get so stressed up and started being emo and there's where the tears come... i mean it's very natural to have feelings right?? and when it ended i just felt like nothing... who knows maybe it's good to have tears once a while... it's just so complicated.. i wouldn't know when's the right time and when's the wrong ones.. and i'm confused which is the good and bad... i just keep thinking non-stop but never had a conclusion and every time i did is just to let is pass just like that... well... actually i didn't know why i would be like freaking sad.. sesat betul.. i guess i just taught like why wouldn't u just tell me that u are busy... and u can even tell that to ur friends but why not me.. i guess that's why i'm like that.. i apologize for yesterday night.. i'm really in a terrible mood... and i just dunno why my books are wet.. =( i wouldn't know what to do next... i gonna calm down and looks what's next.. i know it's sesat... bla bla bla.. =)

exam is just round the corner... and what i gonna do is to make my parents happy with my results... conclusion: i MUST prepare but i haven't touched my books... sesat...

my parents din't know bout my second exam.. so it's like useless getting no.1... btw... at least i had get no.1 before and it's like the 1st time in my entire life... SERIOUS... haha... i know i'm quite sua ku to get no.1.. haha... gonna have SEMANGAT!! yeah.. =)

currently loves hillsongs... it's like not bad... and i'm totally addicted to vanilla twilight as i love the melody and especially the lyrics... haha... it's like so sweet.. =P

k lar... buhbyes... i'm tired.. 1st time do gardening for that few hours.. really enjoy today.. thanks to my sistars.. =) i hope to laugh more... and i'm crazy once it started... =D

Just another ordinary day

it's holiday again... i never get excited during holiday anymore... haha... cos i know it's a moment nearer to all the problems again...

last monday had my theory exam at kwang hwa...

totally nice school.. with the new tables... superb.. =) and i guess my exam not as hard as i taught... well, i guess i din't manage to do that well.. and i'm still wondering if i did answered correctly most of the questions... bad bad... =( just hope for a pass.. lolx....

after that went jj and meet up the guys.. =) was really sesated at the 1st place.. but as time passes trough and i felt so much fun being with them... =) at least they din even left me out even though i'm the odd 1 there... =) 1st time going out with so many biggg guys.. =P and i watched "under the mountain"... err... actually not bad lar.. rating: 6/10 ?? cos i was not enjoying after half of the movie.. as i'm really superb hungry... and i felt so sleepy but dun dare to sleep... =P and all i felt is hunger during the movie... i think i did prefer "alice in the wonderland" than that... =) after movie we went "kim gary".... was totally funny inside there... =) makes me smile everytime i taught of it... later on we went walk walk as the ktv was full... and went back around 530... dad's a bit not happy i guess... cos i was out whole day.. =) but he din't scold... but still i know lar..

16/3/10....

another normal day... =) nothing special... and i was looking for things to do cos mummy dun let me online long long... =/ so end up i got piles of works to complete...

17/3/10

i woke up really early and wanted to go for a jog but mummy dun let... and she say later i got caught by those bad pple... haha... and after dad went out for work i online again... i had some cookies for breakfast.. and it's a very nice packaging gift pack of cookies from someone during CNY and i opened it and without any look at it i just ate it.. and end up i found that it's rotten and there's those white fungus?? around... so i ended up in toilet for the 2nd time in half hour ad... sobs.. =( i should learn to look at things 1st... =P

18/3/10

going jj again.. hope daddy let as i asked jess to fetch me... =) maybe i'll go back early...

mum says that i have to prepare for my june piano practical exam from now.. arrgg... got to go through another tough moment again.... say peace... =P

i still dun understand y he din't want to reply my messages... not even a single... i guess maybe u want it to be that way... well.. den i'll be tat way... sorry for bothering very much..

got to go.. buhbyes.. =) imy.. and i know u din't know it... =/

feeling super tired.. especially after few hours doing theory in my teacher's house... really do wish i could pass... =/ anyhow.. i'm really very dead for this time's school exam... i din't even prepared for it also... so i guess i gonna cut my sleeping time again... sobs... all exam at once... making me feel like crazy.. =/

i realise that everytime before few days exam u will surely not even care me... isshh.. hate it.. =(

imy..

gonna be lolo soon.. =)

26.02.10

is just another ordinary day.. and i felt to tired and bored... was trying to finish all the tasks given...

today morning woke up at 8am and i went to the morning market with mum just to buy some nice vege for tonight's cookings.. after breakfast dad says we are gonna clean up the car porch.. and after cleaning all the stuffs.. i usually walk around my house... and guess what.. i saw a super cute puppy and it's Shtizhu i think... and with the fur all.. just nice for me.. but dad says the puppy is dumped by its owner... and i think it's infected so we can't take him home... sad sad.. T.T after that i look outside fro my house again.. and i saw the little puppy being bullied by few fierce big dogs.. totally scary...

btw... yesterday school had a really mini edu fair.. and din really went for everything cos it's just the same college again and again.. except for like 1 or 2... although i'm really into arts and design... but still had some choices in my mind...

1: arts and design

2: culinary arts

3: music

4: photography (maybe just as my hobby)

5: hotel management/ tourism / naturalist

and thinking to go form 6 / matriculation / A-levels / foundation after my form 5.. aiks..

complicated... =P

imy... =)

.............

confused of something... and i feel very bad... don't know how to decide...

today after service went and eat nasi lemak... and their teh tarik is not bad... and i feel like eating there every sunday... bleks..

tomorrow school reopen ad... and my tiring journey gonna start again.. wish i wouldn't be lazy anymore... gotta be serious ad.. weee...

was asked on my after form 5 journey... and i guess i choose to go for arts and design... hope i wouldn't regret... and again it's all bout deciding... =) i heard that it's quite challenging and tiring... but i guess it's better than anything to do with science which i'm forcing myself to like them now... haiz..

i'm putting on weight since CNY.... so it's time for me to get my weight down again... =D

this year's CNY was not that bad... my red packet money added cos i'm the only one getting red packet in my family now... so i guess the total amount is almost double... =) and grandma gave me the most this year among all... (she's not bias anymore.. ) wee...

i know i shouldn't have been having bad feelings towards her... oppss.. sorry.. =/

i wanna let you know something...

was laughing a lot today even for some nonsense... din't eat medicine today... haha...

i misses you.. and yet i don't dare to say it out.. =/

feels like messaging u... but scare scare... hehee...

endless post ends here..got piles of things to do...

happy chinese new year to all my friends and anyone... =)

to all couples and also everyone especially my chi mui(S): happy valentines day! =)

yeah... tomorrow can start wearing all my new shirts ad.. can't wait for tomorrow... and i wanna take loads and loads of pictures... and make a collection.. =)

hope this year's CNY will be great... =) can eat cookies ad... but have to control.. aiks... =P

i miss you!! and ily.. =D

12.02.10

Valentine's day is coming very soon.. and i'm proud to say i'm celebrating with my chi mui.. =) feels so jealous and envy of those couples... XD makes me feels like................... bleks.. everyone so sweet.... wonder when's mine..

btw... yesterday bought few pairs of new shirt.. and made me feels really superb for my CNY planning.. =) and now i began to love that shop.. =) can't wait... wee... and mum was really ganas.. she wanted to buy me all he clothes that i tried but i took away some which was not worth the price... =) and ended up almost RM300... sesated..

yeah.. tomorrow reunion dinner day edi... wonder what's my dinner... =P




i was too afraid to love because i scared i will be hurt... =/